You can probably gather from the title that school hasn't been going particularly well since I returned in January. Last Friday, I made the decision to return to B1 because the higher level was just too difficult for me. My anxiety level was so high that I couldn't learn anything anyway. I was with a very strong group of students, a prof I didn't understand and there was no doubt, I was the weak link. It was time to get out, not only for my mental health, but for the sake of the other students as well. I felt like a liability and that I was holding them back.
After making the decision, I had a wonderful week-end. On Saturday, Patricia and I watched a terrific French film "The Intouchables" albeit with English sub-titles. The next day, I went across the street to the local theatre to see the film "Belle & Sébastien". What was exciting to me was a brief conversation in French that I had with a woman in the theatre prior to the show. I actually understood what she said and she understood me. At the end of the film, she asked me how I liked it. Although I didn't understand all the dialogue, I told her that I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. There was a bit at the end I didn't understand and she was kind enough to explain it to me. I can't believe how those simple exchanges can be so rewarding. I am trying to capitalize on as many opportunities as possible to listen to the language hoping that maybe, just maybe, one of these days I will be able to understand. I have been thinking about this recently and wondering if it is akin to being deaf. I realize I am hearing sounds all around me, but they often don't make sense. And when I speak, I am often not understood. It is all a bit isolating when people around me are communicating with one another and I am unable to. I'd like to hear from others who have struggled learning another language to know if your experiences have been similar or not and more importantly, what suggestions you might have for me.
On Monday, I returned to B1 and unfortunately, the move hasn't been as positive as I had hoped. This prof also speaks very quickly and once again, I find myself in the "dark" much of the time. The activities and discussion topics haven't been very inspiring either. My class is different too. Half the students are very serious and pretty strong. The other half spends a great deal of time texting, regaling stories of their visits to the bar in English or avoiding classes altogether. A couple of them left after the break today because they were tired and two didn't even bother coming. I am sort of somewhere in the middle. There are seven weeks left and at this point, I really have to push myself to go every morning.
On the bright side, I have had some most enjoyable meals and coffee dates with friends and acquaintances. Yesterday, I sat with a lovely young woman who lives and works in Paris. She was having lunch on her own and I asked if I might join her. We had a lovely chat for an hour in French. Then I met my friend Sarah and we too spent much of our visit conversing in French. To top it off, she had brought me a beautiful rose - très gentille! Last, but not least, I struck up a brief conversation with a gent on the tram. It turns out he was a history professor and his fiancée teaches math. All of these somewhat small experiences out of school have been very positive and somewhat encouraging.
For some fun this week-end, I have a few things planned. Keith would like more of the honey I bought him so tomorrow morning I'm going back to the wonderful market at Les Arceaux. Saturday night, I've been invited to attend a wine tasting and art exposition at the caviste Tires-Bouteilles. If all goes well, I'd like to visit the Le Musée Fabre and possibly L'Hôtel de Cabrières Sabatier D'Espeyran on Sunday. This should be another good week-end. Until next time....
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